maybe the last...

hello dear,
is quite a long time i didn't write something here..
is actually i seldom la..
hehe:)
em...
today is 20/12/09
and my company promise me will put me on board before this month..
but untill now i still haven't recieve any information for the captain..
but
if he really do his job
i think the next week i'll be leaving
don't know...
from the last two weeks i started to feel very unhappy
but i've to do it to complete my course and my future.
i even want to cry when thnking to leave all of you...
my family and you...
everything i use to do will never again..
and i've to survive myself on a ship
alone and sailing...
i really want to cry...
feel everything will disappear suddenly
and i don't know how is the life i'm going to face...
i'm start to nervours
start to worry...
cause i'm sacre i can't handle all the things given by my supervisor
i'm scare i'll make thing mess
but i have to face it...
i have to experince it all by myself
i know
i'm not so good
i'll also make mistake
silly
stupid
never think how to use it
and
careless...
i know
i'll scolded by my upper person
i know
my body is weak
not perfect as the normal person that i should be..
but
i have to face it
i have to be humble
i have to be tolerate
and be patient...
to achieve my goal.
when i know i 'll be leaving soon
i feel i want to cry...
i really want to cry
dear
i'm so sorry to make you feel worry me...
but this what i am thinking now
i want to share and release my tensions
my panic..
i feel cold...
i feel so tired and cold
dear
nothing is easy in our life
we will never deserve without putting an effort on it.
dear
we really have to take care ourself
and maintain our health healthy
don't get hurt
avoid from dangerous activity
remember you are a patient now
i hope i can see you in the next time you are healthy and happy..
i'll do the same like what i say to you..
remember
sleep early..
it's true.
take care.
read more about health article
and you will know how important is it.




dear,
i love you
and miss you so much
maybe this is my last article for you
of cause i hope i can have more chance to write.
i'll be see you soon...
muackx!