28.4.10

我的报告

致:枕头男友,
题:何谓天真,何谓理智

本人,枕头的主人在此献上一份正式的书面报告,就在四月二十四日左右,你让我回答你的题目,可是由于本人的沟通非常有问题,导致你无法明白我的意思,本人对于此事感到非常抱歉和内疚,我必须再回到小学的时候从新学如何与他人沟通。

在题目所讲到的何谓天真,本人的理解就是很笨,思想简单,而且单纯,容易被骗,容易被‘领导’等等。就这几个点,这是足够影响一个人的决定能力,譬如说选择一个爱他的人,但是无法陪伴在身边很长的一段时间,然而依然天真的以为这是没有关系的,毕竟一个人还是能够生活的。问题在于天真的人,能够活得比较快乐,满足感,自在。这些都是本人的人生目标,本人从来不希望活得水深火热的赚取金钱却一点也不快乐,每次的工作只是倍感压力和无法喘息。当然,这种知识个人的观点,觉得没有贬低他人的意思,请各位不要对号入座。在某方面有赞美的意思,请各位天真的人,继续天真。

何谓理智呢?在题目里提到的另外一个点,本人觉得理智的才是本人的思想方式,因为本人非常明白这个世界是现实的,没有钱,就不能买饭吃,没有回免费提供食物给他人,一定要有所贡献才能换取食物。就这一点来看,理智的思想是无法忍受自己的爱人长期无法陪伴在侧,那时多么的无奈和难受,不过本人是那么的崇拜自由,在这一方面,您觉得能够给与足够的自由。但是理智的思想也是比较现实的,能够算计到将来会是一片死路,至少不是一条好走的路,除非有惊人的毅力,能够坚持到最后一刻,不然现在的坚持会给将来带来更多的痛苦。

本人也觉得自己无比的矛盾,每一刻我的心情都在改变,天真和理智在交战,让本人无法好好的判断到底哪一方才是对本人和您最好的,能够减少伤害,俗语说“长痛不如短痛”。相信这会是一个好提议,但是如此轻易放弃本人绝对无法原谅自己,可是感情是两个人的,不能够自私的把您感受也忽略了,本人会更加不能原谅自己的决定害两方都痛苦,本人会在这个月的冷静期,(其实是无法和你联络)好好的思考,因为做了决定,就是会影响本人和您的未来。同时我会一点一点地想出您的缺点,或许能够找到一两个本人无法接受的,那么我们或许就会又决定了,对吗?

终结,现在本人无法给与确实的答案,只好等答案来找本人,哪一天本人等到了答案,一定会第一个和您分享,不管是好是坏,大家都要接受这个事实。这就是现实,理智和天真地意思。希望本人的解释让您明白其中的意思。

枕头的主人,女友启。
注:由于太久没写公式报告,或许会有一两点的错误,请多多包涵。

25.4.10

感情线;未来

有感而发:

我们的未来就像一条无明之路,
上天领着我们走向这一条路,
却没有为我们准备一点光,还留下许多的障碍。
如果继续走下去或许会偏体鳞伤,
我们也会彼此抱怨为什么不早一点放开彼此的手?
如果继续走下去或许会看到明亮的天际,
我们会彼此拥抱告诉对方这就是我们为何那么坚持。
在爱与不爱之间选择,让我犹豫不决。

我们的感情就像一瓢水,
缘分给与我们机会爱上彼此,
却没有留下防腐剂,让我们的感情一滴一滴的流去。
不管我捉得多牢,水不会停留在我手中,
我看着它从我的指间流去,我的眼泪也无法停了。
不管我如何呐喊,缘分好像听不见的离开,
我看着它的离去后所带来的影子,祈求可以跟上他的脚步。
在坚持与否,让我心痛不已。

我们的生命线是平行的,
是什么时候开始交集,什么时候又是结束呢?
我一直乐观的相信,放多一点爱,时间就可以了。
我还能够再坚持么?在无亮的路上,在水的流失中。
你愿意坚持么?在障碍的路上,在无缘的感情里。
我的心反复的问着自己,天,再多一点点的时间可以吗?

放弃吗?不放弃吗?
挣扎吗?

不挣扎吗?

爱吗?

还爱你吗?


还爱你的,还在乎你的心。


·
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不然我为什么会考虑你的感受在于我的痛之前呢?

Michelle

Michelle,

最近听到你的好消息,恭喜你和Issac。我在此先祝福你们白头到老,有情人终成眷属。除此之外,当然我非常愿意提供点点绵力为你们的婚宴做安排,虽然不可能亲自下去为你们做安排,至少可以帮你多邀约朋友一起去,但是你也要让我知道你的婚宴在哪里举办,开始的时间。还有你希望有哪一位的参与等等。虽然我在这里问,你也不可能会听到吧?但是我想msn里找你问更多详细的资料,你却没有在线上,sms给你,你却没有回复,有时候你真的很难找呢。希望你能够尽快联络我咯。还有,你希望姐妹要有主题衣服吗?至少感觉上会比较好看吧?顺便要让我们知道你希望受到什么样的礼物哦,毕竟是我们的第一次,实在是不懂呢,虽然心意在,可是也要符合你的需求在世我们想要给你的,所以你千万不要回答随便就好了。我会想到头破还是不知道能够给你送一些什么,可以尽量提供我们一些头绪,我们也会尽力而为的,因为大家都还是穷人家阿~~

好了,因为最近我会比较忙,要准备考试了,再一次,祝福你们永浴爱河噢~

soon heng.

23.4.10

Hi Dear,
How is the life treating you?
There is a long time that i never read this blog since i sign on...
but so sorry that i'm no able to finish all...
time not allow me to read more.
but at least i can know what is happen to you recently..
ha...
my dear is going to be a cabin attendent..
actually,
this jod is not easy
you must be asking me how do i know..right?
ha...
is from a japan flight drama.
from there i can litter bit understand how they gonna to be trained
is not easy oo...
hehe
but is a profession job
and in future you will be feel proud of it.
so,
do your best next time..
i'll support you.
my life onboard is working,eating,and sleeping.
but the main thing is i have to learn more
althought there are plenty of work is waiting for me
but i have to manage the time for myself to learn for atleast few things perday
and every night i'll spend almost 1 or 2 hours for reading.
the jod here is heavy
and sometime is dangerous.
all the shipcrew must pay fully attention when doing a task.
and everything here is just must use a logic thinking
safety is most important.
my life here is not so bad
just after few months  feel tired
and need someone to give me some warm massage...
haha
und?
em...
i just wish you have a happy day...
don't get too much fat
because i saw your pic in fb
is getting fat and different than before.
so,
i have to go now
wish you all the best in your coming exam.
gambathea!
i love you
i miss you
and feel want to hug you deeply.
muakx...
take care my dear..

6.4.10

Text

Today when I was concentrate onto my revision, suddenly I received your msg, however, I don't know why I didn't reply you immediately, I completed the question first then read your msg properly, thinking what I should reply to you, is that mean my feel on you had already changed? I remember before that I always keep check my handset is that I received a text that I didn't aware and miss out the good chance to reply you, and now I used to don't wait for your msg anymore, concentrate onto my job or others, when I suddenly received your msg I really don't know what to say, I suppose to feel happy, but I have feel nothing? Why? What had been changed but I didn't aware? I'm confusing.. Ya, maybe it's a time to say let's start from the beginning, let's find out where is the love again, I think I already left it anywhere, why don't you help me to look for it, and one day, I can love you more and more? I wish this may not hurt you maybe you did feel the same way too. The time we started was incorrect, so we have to face a lot of problems. Time please goes fast, I hope at least until the end, I could said that I like you, and ever love you but not I have no more feel on you.

If some one too independence maybe have disadvantages too, I have used to face my problem alone and how I try to rely on others. Today I miss out the chance to tell you I Love You, because I hope this feeling is really did feel when I first read your msg, not an illustration from a dream day by day. Take care my dear, wish you all the best, we also don't know how long we can last, when we can contact again, what will happen in this few months, how we should handle, solve those obstacles?

Ya, time to say, Good Night my dear or Jeang Wei.

I Miss You always..